Kerala Nair Wedding, Simplified.

                                                    Ohm Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya:

                                                    Kerala Nair Wedding Ceremony.

                                                                        (mprnair)

         Hindu wedding ceremony had its origin from the ancient Vedic period. Kerala Nair Wedding Ceremony is also conducted imbibing the spirit and sanctity of Vedic Rituals. It can be summarized, especially for Malayalees abroad to follow, in eight paragraphs, as below: (It is nice to announce this procedure to the audience before beginning the wedding celebrations or to inform the invitees in advance, exhorting them also for sharing the Maha Prasadam at the end of the function)

1. Seeking God’s blessings: At the outset the bride / the groom visits her / his respective Kula Devatha Temple (or any God / Goddess Temple for that sake) with a pure mind, heart and body, in the early morning on the wedding day, and perform worship of the Deity, according as they like, with their preceptor’s advice.

2. Giving Dakshina to elders: Before starting from home for the wedding ceremony, they give Dakshina to their elders present there, for their blessings. (Dakshina to father and mother, also mutually, is given in front of the Kathirmandapam, just before the wedding).

3. Receiving Groom: As soon as the groom and party arrive at the place of marriage, the brass oil lamps at the Kathirmandapam are lit, colorful pageantry of thalappoli (each tray of Thalappoli contains rice, thamboolam, arecanut, arecanut peduncle (kamukin poonkula), mirror, folded kasavu neriyathu, kumkum cheppu, coconut halves, and small lamp) led by the brides’ maternal aunt, who holds the Ashta mangala deepam in her both hands, along with Nagaswara melam, are made ready to greet him at the door step. The Brides party moves towards the Groom’s party with Peedham (piece of plank for the Groom to stand while washing his feet), Kindi with water, Floral Garland, Bouquet, Sandalwood paste, Limes, Rose Water etc., led by the would be brother-in-law. He washes the Groom’s feet at the peedham first, puts the garland, gives the bouquet, puts a thilakam on his forehead, gives the lime fruit, sprays the rose water, shakes hands with him, hugs and brings the groom near the Kathirmandapam, in a procession, accompanied by thalappoli and melam, along with his party, greeted properly by giving limes etc. especially to the ladies of the Groom’s party.

4. Entering Kathirmandapam: The Groom before entering Kathirmandapam, gives dakshina to elders if any remains there, to both the parents, and then bows and welcomes all invitees around with folded hands, to get their blessings. He is then brought to the Kathirmandapam, adorned by nilavilakku and nirapara, held in hands by his father. After a small worship of the Deity at the entrance of the Kathirmandapam (supposing Lord Ganapathy at the orukku, Goddess Saraswathy and Gurudevs at the lamp) the Groom steps on with his right leg and sits at the peedham there, arranged for the purpose, leaving enough space on his left for the bride to sit.

5. Arranging Mantrakodi: In the meantime, the Groom’s uncle, close elders and immediate relations sit on a blanket / mat near the Kathirmandapam and arrange in a tray the Manthrakodi, and golden chain etc., which are to be given to the Bride by the Groom, at the wedding, immediately after mutual exchange of the floral garlands.

6. Here comes the Bride: Now the Bride’s father holds her hand and brings her accompanied by thalappoli and melam followed by relatives. She also gives Dakshina to both the parents. After greeting all the invitees with folded hands and bowed head, she is also brought to the Kathirmandapam by her father holding her hands. She also worships the Deity there, in the same way as the Groom did, offering flowers etc., and with her right leg enters the Kathirmandapam and sits on the left side of the Groom, who is waiting for her to sit by his side.

7. Wedding: The father of the Groom gives him the Mangalya sutram (Thali) appropriately, after showing it to the lamp and praying for their deergha sumangali yoga. The Groom in turn ties the mangalya sutram around the Bride’s neck, at the most auspicious muhurtha proposed for the wedding, and Groom’s sister standing behind, ties it tight. Vaikkurava and Gatti melam (Mangalyam thandunanena mamajeevana hethuna …..) are to be played at the background. Now the Bride gets up and stands in front of the Groom. The father of the Bride gives her the garland, which she puts on to his neck. Next the Groom puts the other garland given to him by his father on her neck. He then puts the golden chain, obtained from his father, on to her neck. Now she puts the ring, got from her father, on Groom’s right ring finger and he puts another in exchange. Now the father of the Groom gives him the tray with the Manthra Kodi. After asking three times “pudava kodukkatto” the Groom gives her the Manthra kodi. In the same way asking three times “pudava vangatto” she bows and receives the tray with the Mantrakodi. They stand back. Now the father of the Bride comes behind the couple, places a thamboolam in the right palm of the Groom and places the right hand of the Bride on top of it. After this Panigrahanam they stand there for a while. The mother of the Groom now puts 'kumkum' on the forehead of the Bride. This is called 'seemanda rekhayil sindooram aniyikkal'. Holding hands the couple walks around the Kathirmandapam three times and then they step down from the Kathirmandapam, and walk into a room nearby where they are given milk and plantain fruit by the bride’s mother first, followed by others. The couple change their costumes. She now wears the manthrakodi. After the ordeal of photos etc., they take part in the Feast (sadya) there after.

8. Bharthru Gruhapravesham: At the proposed muhurtha, the couple enters the groom’s house where they are welcomed with lighted lamp and treated by rituals and greeted by all. Milk and fruits are given again by the groom’s mother and others.

           Reception: A reception is arranged for the invitees in connection with the marriage thereafter.

                                                                          Subham

Engagement, before Nair Wedding.

                                    Engagement before Nair Wedding
                                                                         (mprnair)



            The Engagement is done imbibing the spirit of Vedic Culture. It consists of three phases:-

1-The Announcement.

Just before starting of the Muhurtha for Engagement, standing in front of the stage set for the function, the father of the Bride or the person authorized for the purpose, after welcoming the audience, should announce to the invitees that engagement for marriage is going to take place here, between (Bride’s name and Groom’s name) and then he should introduce the family of the Bride and Groom to the public, in detail.

2- Exchange of Birth Charts (Jathakam Koda)

After Aarathy at the Ganapathy orukku, the father of the bride and the father of the groom should sit face to face in the seats allotted for them, in front of the lighted lamp. Then, he should ask the relations and audience present there three times, “ Jathakam Kodukkatto”, and then handover the tray with the ‘Thalakkuri’ of his daughter (Bride) to the father of the Groom. After asking “ Jathakam Vangatto”, the father of the Groom, should get the tray with the Thalakkuri, from the father of the Bride. Then he can give his Son’s(Groom), Thalakkuri , in return, in the same way to the father of the Bride. Here ends the exchange of birth charts.

3-Ring Exchange (Mothiram Mattam)

Now, the Groom is escorted by thalppoli, melam, vaikkurava etc. to the Dias, and after getting the blessings of his dear ones, especially of his parents, he worships his Kula Devatha and Lord Ganapathy at the lighted lamp and the ‘orukku’ there, and sits at the place earmarked for him, leaving enough space on his left for the Bride to come and sit. The Bride is brought to the stage in the same way as the Groom is brought, and after getting blessings from her relations and dear ones and worshipping at the lamp, she sits in the place, reserved for her on the left-side of the Groom. Then, the father of the Groom gives the blessed Ring to him and he puts it on the left ring finger of the Bride. In return, she puts the blessed Ring given to her by her father, on the right ring finger of the Bride. People can now shower flowers on them in token of their joy and blessings. The Groom's mother, can then put kumkum on the Brides seemantha rekha.

Now, the father of the Bride or the person authorized for the purpose, should read the ‘Muhurtha Charthu’ for wedding, containing the details of the marriage such as the addresses of the Bride’s and the Groom’s families; date, time and place of marriage etc. He can also express his profound gratitude to the public in having come and blessed the function. He can also humbly request them to kindly share the Mahaprasad arranged for the function invariably before leaving.



                                                                          Subham”

Housewarming

                            
                         Housewarming, Kerala Style, Simplified:
                                                                  (mprnair)

                   House warming ceremony or Gruhapravesham or 'Palukachu' in Malayalam, is done after the construction of a house, which is mostly based on a Muhurtha (Auspicious time) for Gruharambham.

                  At the outset, a Muhurtha is got prescribed by a learned Astrloger for beginning the construction of the house (Gruharambha Muhurtham). Of course, it is nice if you resort to a 'Daivadheenam' (God's blessings), even before purchasing the land for construting your Home/ Flat. You can verify with the Astrologer whether the land is suitable for making a Home for you and whether you can go ahead with the work of construction with out any hindrance or the like things. Usually people will say that you should not begin such things when there is a fully pregnant woman waiting for child birth in your house or a very pretty old one is bed-ridden at that time.

                  The following 18 Nakshathras - Moolam, Makam, Rohini, Makayiram, Chathayam, Punartham, Pooyam, Uthram, Atham, Chithira, Uthradam, Thiruvonam, Avittam, Uthrittathy, Revathy, Ashwathy, Chothy, Anizham - are supposeed to be good for Gruharambham. Usually we do not take the 3rd, 5th and 7th Nakshathras from ours for all auspicious things. Of course, there are some exceptions for certain particular Nakshathras, which the Astrologer will tell you at that time. The malayalam months like Mithunam, Karkkadakam, Kanni, Dhanu and Meenam are avoided for Gruharambham.You should never go for it, when the Sun is transitting through Karthika Nakshathram. There should not be Mars in the 8th house from the Muhurtha Lagna.The 4th house should be clean; no malefic is allowed there.Also avoid Sun in the Muhurtha Rasi.

                   The most important item in Gruharambham is laying the foundation stone or 'Adishanashila'. It is called the 'Shilasthapanam'. So, it should be done exactly at the prescribed time for Gruharambham. Many people do a 'Bhoomipooja', before laying the foundation stone.Some are seen getting that stone blessed from thier 'Ishta Devatha' Temple. Arranging a small pooja on the spot is very welcome, seeking the blessings of Lord Ganapathy and other Devathas, including Vastu.The excavation for foundation can be done little earlier to laying the first stone.But, it is a custom and almost a belief that at the time of  the excavation for foundation,  Bhoomi pooja can be done. The excavation should be started from the North-East corner(Eshana cone) of the plot and the Bhoomi pooja also should be arraned to be done at that part. Before starting excavation, usually a fresh stump from a jackfruit tree or from a tree having sap, is fixed first exactly at the NE corner. It is from that stump, string is connected to those at the other corners, to ear mark the area for excavation for the proposed house. Some people use the Muhurtha for Gruharambham for fixing this stump. It is not correct. The Muhurtha should be used for laying the foundation stone. Ofcourse you can use a good time for fixing the stump also, just before laying the stone.You need avoid Rahukalam, Gulikakalam and Yamakandakalam, which are readily available in every Calendar. In some places, I had the fortune to witness, Eagle or Kite (Krishnapparunthu), roaming round , up in the sky, above the plot, during the Gruharambha Muhurtham.

                   Coming to Gruhapravesham, the same procedure used for Gruharambham, can be followed as far as the Muhurtham is concerned.The rituals may vary a little in that it will be nice if the Gruhapravesham is done immediately after the Ganapathy Homam in the early morning during the time of Sunrise at that location.Early morning is always supposed to be good or you can go for a good Muhurtham for the purpose by a learned Astrologer. Appropriate offerings should be made to Bhara Devatha and in local temples.

Usually the Pooja is arranged in front of the house towards one side, by the Sthapathy (Mooyhassari). It is nice that no one should be at the house when the family first enters into the house.It is well and good if it is possible to go round the house (Pradikshanam / circumambulate) once by the members of the family, headed by the lady of the house carrying the lighted lamp in both hands, obtained from the Sthapathy, after giving him the 'Sampradaya Dakshina', accompanied by the man of the house with the treasure chest, followed by other members of the family, with milk and pot, water-pot (Kumbhakudam) etc. Using the right leg, they should enter the house, and the lighted lamp should be placed at the North-East corner of the room, where they entered first. From the same lamp, the lady of the house can ignite the hearth in the kitchen, for boiling the milk. Afterwords, the milk should be given to all present. The workers or labourers should be paid first, tips as a token of indebtedness towards them for having built the house for the family.

It is advisable to give back a lime along with a betel leaf to every one irrespetive of those with presents.

                In either case, whether it is Gruharambham or Gruhapravesham, you should be present on the spot on the second day, to avoid the socalled 'Vischithi dosham'. You should stay and sleep over the night on the second day also in your new house.

                     Your Home is a 'Devalayam'; the man there is the Chief Deity, the lady is the Goddess, and the children are Upa Devathas. This concept will bring prosperity to your Home. Whatever you have, belongs to God; you are only a Caretaker. Do all unto Him with full Providnce and Dharma. HE will be always with you.

Jai Hind,

God bless America.

30th June, 2012. 

Last Rites of Hindus, For Malayalees abroad.

                                                       LAST RITES OF HINDUS:
                                                                    (mprnair)
                                   (അന്ത്യേഷ്ടി അഥവാ അന്തിമോപചാര കര്‍മ്മം)
                            
                              (Simplified for those, especially Malayalees, abroad)
                         
                            “ അബ്ദ ദീക്ഷാദി ലോപേന പ്രേതാ യാതാ പിശാചതാം,
                               സ്വജനാല്‍ ബാധമാനാസ്തെ ചരന്തീതി ഖലു സ്മൃതി ”

It means , if we do not observe obsequies, it is supposed that the soul of the dead will not be eligible for
Moksha and also it will wander to enter into the body of any one closely related to it and will obsess that
person. Whether it is true or false, we are expected to do the rituals as a mark of our love and respect to the
dead one, not of fear of the dead, also since it it is being done from time immemorial. These Rites enable the
soul of the dead to transit successfully from the stage of ‘Preta’ to that of ‘Pitru’, which is eventually
supposed to be merged into ‘Devamsa’, in due course, provided we do the obsequies properly. At the
death bed itself, keeping the body clean, it is nice if possible we give drops of ‘Ganga water’, if the person
drinks the same. “Basil (Tulasi) water’, can be used as substitute. The following things, as far as possible,
may be collected for the procedure of the funeral, especially involving cremation: ഗംഗാ ജലം, തുളസിഇല,
അരി, ചന്ദനത്തിരി, രാമച്ചം , അകില്‍, ദര്‍ഭ, പ്ലാശ്, അശ്വത്ഥം മണ്‍കുടം, മൂടിയുള്ള കലശം, വെട്ടുകത്തി,
കിണ്ടിയും വെള്ളവും, ചുവന്ന പട്ടു്, നിലവിളക്ക്, എണ്ണ, തിരി , കൊള്ളി.(small dried twigs). അസ്ഥി
സഞ്ചയനത്തിന്: തോര്‍ത്ത്‌, പാല്, തൈര്, പനിനീര്, ഗോമൂത്രം , ഉതിര് പൂവ്, പൂമാല, സ്വര്ണ്ണം In case
there was no medical assistance, immediately after the death, family members can close the mouth and eyes
of the deceased, and put the arms straight. The body is cleaned and usually placed on the floor with the feet
pointing towards the South which is supposed to be the direction of the dead. The right and left toes are tied
together. (This should be untied just before cremation). An oil lamp is lit and placed at the head portion on
the North. Most often the body is bathed by purified water, and then dressed in new clothes. Sandalwood
paste is applied on the forehead. A new Cloth (Kodi Vasthram) may be put on the body from the family.
Garlands, wreaths and flowers can be placed on the body. Ladies and Children, after cleaning their bodies,
put wet rice and basil leaves at the mouth of the dead, before taking the body to cemetery or crematorium.
All the others who are bound to offer the same, do it at the crematorium floor. The body is then taken to the
crematorium or cemetery. The rightful person authorized to do the Karma, bathed and in wet cloth, puts as
the last, wet rice and basil leaves at the mouth of the dead. He then carries the pot of water three times
circum ambulating the body, while one lightly hits and breaks the sides of the water pot with the big knife
(വെട്ടുകത്തി).and on completing three rounds the pot is dropped out at the feet of the dead. A small piece
each from the cloths put on the dead body, may be torn out and kept. രാമച്ചം, അകില്‍, പ്ലാശ്, അശ്വത്ഥം,ദര്‍ഭ, all those things may be placed on and around the body, before burial or cremation. It may be set on fire or buried, as the case may be. All may bathe thereafter. If the body is cremated, ashes may be collected in the ‘Kalasham’, bought for the purpose, after neatly cleaning it with enough water, milk, curd, rose water, cow-urine, using the towel. The Kalasham may be wrapped in the piece of cloth taken from the dead body and the Kalsham may be decorated and taken with due respect, accompanied by lamp and lighted bathi to any punya river or sea, and immersed therein, with deep prayers for the rest of the soul and liberation. He may bathe thereafter. It is nice he does the ‘bali’ for 16 days, if possible. Thereafter, ‘Aandu bali’ or ‘Sradham’ may be done yearly, preferably on the ‘Thithi’, on which the person deceased. If it is convenient, after the first year, a ‘Kshethra Pind bali’, a ‘Thila Homam’ and a ‘Sayoojya Pooja’ may be done in any good temple, doing such poojas. One may get enough ‘Pitr-preethi’, because of these sat-karmas.
                                                                    

                                                                              'Subham’